We Live, and We Learn

I have sat on this for over 24 hours now, and I have to release. Something happened yesterday that, not only confirmed one of the many reasons I wanted to homeschool, but also made me feel like crap that I wasn’t successful at homeschooling my children.
I received a phone call from my son’s school at 2:30 p.m. yesterday. The office person, who I love dearly, told me that she had my son in the office. She wanted to know if I knew of anything bothering my son, because he had acted out during lunch, and it was unacceptable. I was told that it was usually something that was punishable by receiving a referral (note sent home that goes in his record), but he was being given the benefit of the doubt since he has only been back at school for a month. I couldn’t even fathom what he had done! He has never been in trouble. He is a rule follower to a T, and has never been disruptive in all of his years of school. She put him on the phone to talk to me, and I could tell he had been crying. I asked him what he did, and he tells me the he spilled mashed potatoes on his pants at lunch. So, he got up from the table, went to the bathroom to wash off his pants, and came back to his table. The teacher supervising lunch asked him where he had been, and he told her. Then she told him he cannot leave the table without asking. He told her that he had tried to get her attention, but couldn’t, so he just went to the bathroom.
Well, I hung up the phone with him, and decided to go to the school myself to see what really happened. After all, I couldn’t believe that this was the reason why he got into trouble. And surely this is no reason to receive a referral, right?
I walked into the school, and spoke with the front office staff. Yup, my son was telling me the truth. This was the “bad” behavior that got him in so much trouble. He went to the bathroom, and washed off his pants with out asking. In a lunch room full of roughly 150 children, he wasn’t being noticed when raising his hand. So, he took it upon himself to be his own problem solver, washed the food off of his pants in the bathroom, and came right back to his table. He is 10 years old, in the 5th grade, and capable of making good decisions when problems arise.
He was so sad when I picked him up from school. I didn’t punish him, but we did talk about the rules that the school has, and how you have to follow them, even if you aren’t being noticed by a teacher. I just cannot fathom how this warranted a phone call to the parent, and an almost referral. He wasn’t being disruptive, he caused no harm or disrespect to anyone, and he didn’t damage any property. He simply solved his own problem. I wonder if it really is a big deal, and I am missing seeing something? Or do some people who get to work with children, have some kind of power trip when they are around them?
From being a volunteer in the school last year, I have learned that some people are amazing with the kids, and some are just domineering. It makes me sad that their school has gotten so big, and the class sizes are large. It makes me sad that my son’s heart was hurt, and that he felt humiliated and sad over something that wasn’t deserving of the punishment. We will move forward, and he was more attentive of the rules today. He told me he had a great day today! Sometimes the mamma bear just comes out, but fortunately for me, it just came out in a blog post 😉

11 thoughts on “We Live, and We Learn

  1. My son is a precocious 6 year old kindergartener. I dread the daily report and conferences. How can you be bad when you are six? Most of his infractions involve speaking out of turn, and running in the hall. I hate that at 6 he has a record and the stigma of being “bad”. I know that at school, the game is crowd control, but is that the best basis to begin an academic career? Unfortunately, right now homeschooling is out of the question, in part it’s a financial decision and in part my capabilities.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree with you so much! Sorry to hear that is happening with you as well. We will retry homeschooling in the future….when I have myself more organized for my kids 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re not missing anything. Your kid did nothing wrong. Schools today are absolutely ridiculous. The things the staff and administration are doing nowadays are completely baffling to me; how can these people be considered ‘Educators?’ I am planning on homeschooling myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is ridiculous. I felt very sorry for your kid, poor him, could not believe it had been punished for that! Teaching should be about caring and listening, not only lecturing, that’s really a shame… How long had you been doing homeschooling? I am considering the option, but don’t know how to get started with my 4 y.o. To me, a bit of both would be ideal for her socialization skills. But I want her to gain the confidence and the attention she doesn’t get from school. Last time, her teacher told me that it is a shame that she always finishes her homework before every one, because she tends to be bored too easily (!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • We just started homeschooling this school year. It was tough juggling work and school. I will do it again when life can be a bit more balanced, so my kids can get the most from it. I feel so bad they had to go back to that environment 😦

      Liked by 1 person

    • I agree! The rules are crazy, and some teachers feel this gives them the power to be just down right mean to the children. It’s very sad, and I feel awful for putting them back into this environment….


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